Lost in Silence: Finding a Path Through Unseen Pain in the Medical field and Family
Published on:
July 1, 2024
What have you been diagnosed with?
How did you first notice something was wrong with your health?
When I found a lump in my left armpit and was always tired.
When did you first start experiencing symptoms?
I started experiencing symptoms as early as 2021, when the pandemic hit. They weren’t signs of “oh, you should get that checked out” but they were still definitely symptoms. A leading symptom I had was really bad back pain.
How did you go about seeking a diagnosis?
I begged my parents to get me into the clinic to get the back pain and lump checked out, they ordered an ultrasound and X-ray, and from the ultrasound and X-ray on, it was downhill.
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How long did it take for you to receive a diagnosis?
Overall, from the beginning of noticing symptoms it took 2 years.
How did you feel when you received your diagnosis?
I didn’t really feel anything, other than that the medical field had originally failed me, and my own parents also failed my own cries for help. I felt - numb almost.
How did you communicate your diagnosis with your loved ones?
I just told them flat out. There’s no point in hiding it because one way or another they’ll find out from either rumors or just physical appearance.
What treatments have you undergone and how have they impacted you?
I underwent chemo from late April of 2023 to early August of 2023. Chemo has impacted me a lot. It’s made doing daily tasks that would be very easy for most people, so difficult for me. It’s like having a hundred-pound boulder strapped to you at all times.
What is the most difficult part of your treatment, and how do you manage it?
I’d say the most difficult part of my treatment was losing my hair. I knew it was going to fall out - it already was before my diagnosis. But I didn’t think it would fall out that quickly. One of the things that really helped me was just telling myself “It’s okay, and that it’s for the better.”
What has been the most challenging aspect of living with your condition?
The most challenging aspect of living with Hodgkin Lymphoma is definitely having to be careful about where I go, and what I do certain stuff because it could make me need chemo again.
How has your daily life and routine been affected by your condition?
My daily life routine has been affected so much by my condition. Some days I want to conquer the world, and some I want to rot in bed and not do anything because I have no energy. That also means some days I skip out on school entirely because I simply have no energy to do anything.
“Pain is invisible, but its echoes are heard in silence.”
How has your condition affected your mental health and emotional well-being?
It most definitely has, some days I wonder if I would’ve been more careful, I wouldn’t have gotten it. It haunts me, and it will haunt me forever.
What strategies have you found helpful for managing your emotions and thoughts?
A few strategies I’ve found that have helped manage my emotions and thoughts were to just tell yourself it’s going to be okay - because it will be okay no matter what. It might not be the kind of “okay” you wanted, but it’ll all work out in the end.
How has your diagnosis impacted your relationships with your friends and family?
I’ve lost a few friends and family since my diagnosis, purely because they were embarrassed to know me. It sucked, but it really shows people’s true colors.
What support systems have been helpful during your health journey?
Definitely my family, my hospital family as well, and everyone who contributed to me getting better.
What advice would you give to someone who has recently been diagnosed with your condition?
It will all be okay; you might not see it right now, but that bell is calling your name and you’re going to ring it.
What advice would you give to your past self if you had the opportunity to go back in time?
Cherish the moments you had with all your friends because those could’ve been the last.
How can others be more supportive and understanding of people with your condition?
Other people can be supportive by donating to cancer research, and NGO cancer funds. I also suggest people get their weekly, monthly, or even yearly check-ups on a regular basis.
Looking for support and resources for Leukemia & Lymphoma? Click here: https://www.bloodcancers.ca/
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Disclaimer: Please be aware that the content of this patient story is solely the viewpoint of the individual(s) involved and should not be considered as medical advice.
